Title seems a little weird huh? Let me elaborate...
In Primary School, it starts off as fun, it's learning, it's pretty much everyone likes everyone. Then we all start to develop personalities, we don't all get along, some of us become mean, others withdrawn, others judgmental and the list goes on. We start to base our life worth around how many "people" are around us. Yes, I will call them people, because Primary School is just the beginning of friendships, true, some will last a life time (or part there of), but others wont make the cut the next year, or even the next term. But still, we base our worth on the amount. The "popular" kids, the ones we all want to be like, are always surrounded by people! People who laugh at their jokes, stand up for them etc.
In High School, the "cool kids" sit at the back of the bus and sometimes throw things at the "not so cool kids" we base our life worth around what area of the bus we sit. Some of us never outgrow that. And hell, I still sit at the back of the bus sometimes, because my children race there lol. As an adult with young children, the purpose for the back of the bus is totally different, as High School kids, we always want to have that back seat.
We spend our school years striving to be what the people want us to be, so that we can have as many of the people around us as possible. We judge ourselves on how many people we can surround ourselves with and if it's not "enough" we feel lonely, worthless, like we're not good enough. We change ourselves to fit in better. We allow ourselves false "friendships" so we can feel like we belong, and a lot of that doesn't leave us in early adulthood. It can take years to stop that cycle.
Well, I'm 28, and finally I GIVE UP! I am not here to please Bill and Jo, I'm not here to keep up with Mary and Fred, I am not here to please anyone except for myself, my children (to the best of my ability) and my husband, again to the best of my ability. I give up trying to change myself to appease others, trying to be friendly to people who have no intention of returning that friendliness. I give up keeping quiet so I don't upset people. From now on, if you upset me, you will hear about it. If you don't like it, that's not my problem. I'm not here to make sure you're happy at the detriment to my own happiness. My own happiness is forthwith my biggest concern and I will no longer be trampled on.
I have dealt with a lot in my 28, almost 29, years and less and less I've been allowing myself to be treated poorly. However, I do let it slide sometimes. I probably will continue to, but not the extent I have. I have 4 gorgeous children who sometimes leech more energy from me than I have to give, so I give up lending that precious energy to anyone who chooses to be negative toward me, my family and the things we do. I don't expect everyone I know to like or understand the things we do, but I do now expect that if you don't like it, it's not your place to be an asshole about it.
My mother taught me young that If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. I stand by that, and I try to practice it day to day. Many people couldn't care less though, and I am truly tired of it affecting me. I know that life isn't all peachy keen, sunshine and rainbows, but I still don't deserve to be treated badly just because someone WANTS to! Disagreements happen, and I love a good debate, but a debate, not an outright slap in the face, purposeful nastiness. It's not hard to just keep your mouth shut, or your hands off the keyboard for that matter.
So as stated, I GIVE UP! And it feels so amazingly good :)
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